![]() The nerds, the jocks, the townies, you are my friends, my family, my always. The creative souls, the misfits, the wild ones, I love you. I want you to know that whatever came before, whatever is between, and whatever comes after, I will always be here for you. I know that I haven’t seen or talked to some of you in years. Every time one of us makes that selfish decision, heartbreak and agony are left in our wake. Every time one of us leaves, we are less. Why can’t I have this happiness and love that everybody else seems to have? Why is there so much anger in me? Why is there so much ugliness? Why is something so flawed as me on this earth? Wouldn’t it be better on everyone if I was just gone?īut that’s not true. I have cried myself to sleep countless nights because I felt like there’s something wrong with me. ![]() ![]() Regrets over what I’ve done, regrets over what I didn’t do, regrets that my life didn’t turn out exactly the way that I thought it would. The depression that I battle with every day stems mainly from regrets. Depression is a hateful sickness that seems to plague a huge group of us from Athens. YOU MATTER TO ME.Īnd so I share this darkness of mine in the hope that you will not feel alone, that you will know that there is someone that CAN understand the darkness inside of you. If you ever need to talk, I will talk with you until the wee hours of the dawn. I want you to know that if you ever need a hug, I will hug you. Some of us haven’t spoken in years except for a passing “what’s up” on social media. Some of us didn’t part on the best terms. Every time one of your lights goes out, I lose a piece of myself, a piece of my beginnings, my core. What I cannot live with is losing another single piece of my Athens. He did for me what he obviously couldn’t do for himself. Because there is a light inside of me and Carl made sure that I knew it. Do you hear me? I will fucking LIVE with it. It is a regret that I will live with until my dying day. I let his light go out without even asking what was wrong. And now I feel like I have failed to do the same for him. I just didn’t know that he was “Fuck This” sad.Įvery time my depression got the better of me and I needed a kind word or a little light in my life, Carl always magically said something that made me feel better about myself. ![]() I haven’t seen these poems in years and I’ve missed them! But now it’s like we were never apart.įirst of all, just let me say that I knew that Carl was sad when he didn’t respond with his usual light to all of his happy birthday wishes. And at the end, some tattoo ideas and a couple of poems. I was a sassy little thing!) Through the middle is a bunch of notes, blueprints for things I wanted to make, shopping lists, doodles, and two or three short stories. ( The rereading of which was pretty awesome. At the beginning, was a fall color project I had to do for a Hort class. So I came across an old sketchbook from college. ![]()
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